Welcome to Dad and Company

Welcome to the premiere episode of Dad and Company!

In this episode, we're talking about:

• Why we started this podcast and what listeners can expect.
• The challenges of balancing fun and discipline as a dad.
• How different generations of fathers approach parenting.
• The importance of routines and flexibility in family life.
• Funny stories about forgotten shoes and impromptu shopping trips.
• And more!

Transcript

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How do you start out a podcast? You start talking. Dad and Co. What is it? What is this podcast? Welcome to the Dad and Co. Podcast with me, Dylan Schmidt, and you Jacob Espinosa. Do you mind briefly introducing yourself and a little bit about your background? Yeah. So Jacob Espinosa, a lot of background in organizational health and leadership development. About 7 months ago, I launched a business as a coach and specializing in helping dads who own businesses, build businesses that are fulfilling for them, helping them build lives that they can be proud of. It's been been super powerful. And through the through the conversation, I've I've through the conversations I've had with clients and potential clients and just people I know, I mean, there's definitely a need for for more community in the, the world of dads. I think it's really easy for us to wanna figure things out on our own and wanna be that lone strong wolf that can kinda, like, figure things out and doesn't doesn't really see the value of the pack sometimes. But in the reality, we're all gonna be better better together. So it's something I've always been passionate about is finding ways to build community and connecting people. And I think through the Dad and Company community and this podcast, we'll be able to to hopefully impact impact a lot of lives and, you know, bring people together. How many kids do you have? I have 2 kids. They are, 9 and 11, 4th grade and 6th grade. So we're getting ready for the world of middle school. Time sure does apply. Like when you have kids, everybody tells you, like, you blink and it's done. And like this this is one of those moments where it's like, man, middle school is here. Like, you know, he's more than halfway to 18 at this point. Like we're we're, we're on the, the home stretch, you know, we're headed, we're headed towards kids moving out of the house and it's kind of, kind of surreal to be, be in that place. Because they seem like they're just so little for so long and then all of a sudden they're not. Yeah. Right on the cusp of, becoming teenagers. Yeah. And hopefully there'll be, you know, what some of the good ones, like the kids that people want to be around, not those little shits that run around. You know what I mean? But who knows? Who knows where they're headed? I, I will say my oldest has really good He has a good group of friends. I'm really happy for that. That thing will help with the transition. But, you know, as a whole new world, you start getting to middle school and high school, new challenges, new obstacles, everything just seems so big. And so, yeah, but just trying to enjoy the moments that we have right now, for sure. Yeah. And myself, I am wait. How old are you, by the way, Jacob? 41. 41. I am 35, and I have an 18 month almost wanted to say 18 month year old. I have a a year and a half year old daughter, and, my only child only plans for this one. And, you know, I my background also actually is in, podcasting and content creation. I have a company called ContentClips where we produce podcasts and short form video primarily. And working from home, having an 18 month old daughter, you know, my wife works, I would say, about half at home and and half outside of the house, and it's been, you know, different different than I thought it was gonna be. You know, great. And how was a lot of ways. How was the moment for you when you you had a kid? I'm always curious to hear this. I feel like how I experienced it was different than most people do. Like, was it like an instant, like a life changing moment when you saw this child and you held it? Or did it take a while to, like, develop, like, understand, like, what what it meant or I don't think what was that experience like? Yeah. I don't have much background with kids. Yeah. You know? I don't like, I have any family members that have kids. I don't have any, you know, I'm not, I don't know, like some distant friends that would have kids, so I don't have much practice. So everything kind of felt like really new and just running off instincts. And that was like trying to learn as I go on the job. I'm still like trying to learn as I go A lot of on the job training where it's like, oh, okay. This is how it works. Because trying to, like, put a diaper on, like, a fake baby, for training purposes, it was like, let's just let's just go to the real thing because I know it's gonna be the real one squirming and crying. So it was surreal, but it felt like pretty also like trying to be in the moment, not trying to like, make it like, you know, I found there's so much emphasis put on the first time you get with a girl and then, you know, there's like sometimes like emphasis on like the first in life, you know? Yeah. Yeah. It's like with having a baby, it's like, it's gonna change your world, all that. Like Yeah. Yeah. You know? It's like an Ayahuasca experience or something people describe it as. I'm like, is am I gonna start seeing shapes and colors? You know? What's what is gonna happen? And it wasn't Yeah. Yeah. Like that. It was just very real emotional. I think I cried. Yeah. Okay. How about you? It was, it, it was, I remember when we had the kid in the, the hospital, Tyson's his name. My first words when he was born were like, that was bizarre. I just like to say this in the room, like, what just happened? This human being just came out of my life. Like this is, this is Yeah. It was definitely a surreal experience, like, being there and being part of it. And I don't know. I knew it was gonna happen, but still in the moment, like, everything was just like I don't know. Like, I didn't know. I should have known more, I guess, what to expect and what to do. I feel like I was kind of going with the flow. But I think that I didn't have that moment where I held him. And I was like, oh, my gosh, my life is so different now. Like, it definitely was like a journey, like falling in love with this person and the changes. I saw myself happen gradually. But I hear dads talk about, like, help my son. Like, everything was different. And, like, I just didn't have that. So I kind of felt weird. Like, is something wrong with me? But then I learned that it was pretty common for dads to go through that experience where moms kind of, like, build this relationship with this child as, you know, she he's growing inside they're growing inside of of her. And then, then there's this, like, moment of you get to meet this child that's, like, been in you. And for dads, it's kinda like we're meeting this child for the first time. So I don't know. I was kinda curious how how it was for you. But, yeah, for me, it was definitely was a more gradual process. And, Yeah. I'm still I think still figuring it out as we go. Like, you can read books, but, like, every kid is so different. I think that, like, I'm just constantly, like, trying to not do things that will traumatize my kids and, like, thinking through how I respond to things very intentionally. When my so I I'll tell a story of what happened recently is, my youngest who's 9 now, he asked for a smoothie, so I make him a smoothie. And then, like, 2 minutes later, I'm in the kitchen. I turn around and he has dumped this smoothie all over his older brother who's sitting on the couch. And they were playing this game where he was like pretending he was going to pour it, but was actually going to, but then poured it a little too much and just ran all over his face and his shirt. I was like, what are you doing? It's going to be impossible to get that out of the couch. Like, why did you do this during time out? And he goes he's like, I don't want to be a bad kid. He's like, devastated by this. I'm like, dude, you're not a bad kid. That's not what I'm saying. It's just we gotta think about things. And it's like we had a conversation about it and, like, it was fine after that. But I just felt like there are so many moments where if we respond incorrectly, it can really have, like, a pretty devastating impact on who our children are. So, like, I feel like I'm, like, always hyper aware of my emotions and, like, how am I portraying my emotions when I'm interacting with my kids? But it's been a gradual process. That's something I'm really excited about with this podcast is because I think, like, we're more aware that I don't, I think I know we're more aware as like dads than dads were previously in history. You know, like we're not dealing with, like, World War 2 or the Gold Rush or these things that, like, previous dads and generations had to deal with. Yeah. Yeah. You know, we got, like, Uber Eats and the Internet, and, like, there's just it's different. Like, no dads have existed like this now, and being aware of, you know, ways that we could like cause this trauma or these like imprints on our kids. Being aware of that is like mentally draining. I think sometimes. Cause you're like thinking about like you're in the moment and they're also thinking like 10 years ahead, am I gonna do something wrong? And then you're, like, also thinking about yourself. You're like, well, actually, I'm kinda tired. I've been working to hold this whole house together. For sure. Yeah. You're, like, balancing all of these things of, like, I'm taking care of them, but I also need to discipline them, but I also need to be empathetic towards them. It's like it's a lot to manage, for dads. And I don't think that's talked about much or, yeah. And so I'm excited to chat about that more with you because I don't think it's like a one time thing. I think it's an ongoing conversation. You know? For sure. I feel like when I think like the, the dad conversations you see online, it's like the dad, it's like, my kids know how to act. When we go to restaurants, we don't have the problems the other families have because, like, they understand the expectations of them. And, like, part of me is like, cool, bro. I'm happy for you. Like, you're like, this is what your life is like. But also, like, this is social media. Like, there are definitely things that you're struggling with, that your family's struggling with that you're not talking about. And it just gives us, like, unrealistic expectation of what it means to be a person because we're always judging ourselves based off of this, like, PR publicity that's happening on on Instagram and, you know, every every social media at all times. Like, people are people are struggling, you know, especially right now. And I think the better we can get at, like, being honest and transparent about the things that we're going through, the, the easier it'll be for us to to find and build connections and get better through the process. For sure. For sure. I was just thinking about this this morning that, you know, I work in social media and content creation, all this stuff, and podcasting is different. I don't label it as, like, social media, but, social media in general is, like, the worst way to communicate in so many ways. Because, like, how well can you communicate something in, like, 60 words or less? And, you know, I put out something about podcasting and then, this podcasting expert like wrote his thoughts underneath it. And I'm like, half of what he said, I didn't agree with, and the other half, I did agree with. And I'm like, do I even respond? Is it worth it? And he doesn't have the full context of my post because he would have not made that comment. And Yeah. It's like it's it's a flawed way to communicate. And especially when it comes to the nuances of parenting, it is unfortunate because we, you know, kind of have to like deal with social media, whether we want to or not. And whether it's as parents, as kids and trying to like balance, what we read and other people and as much as we're like, ah, that's all social media. It's hard sometimes, you know, for sure to think that like they're doing it easier or better or however, shifting gears for a second, because I want to talk about like contrasting parenting experiences, particularly around bedtime. I, my wife and I have it pretty good. We followed this taking care of babies. I don't know her real name, but she does like sleep training. I've heard she was like a little bit divisive because I think, I don't know if she donated to like Trump's last reelection. I don't I don't know what something happened because, like, my I don't know if it's my cousin-in-law or some something. I don't know. It was like a family thing. I'm not up to date on, like, the taking care of baby's drama. All I knew is that we followed the sleep training that she recommended, and we did it early on. And she really simple, like, has, like, a really simple online course and really helped us though. So,

my daughter goes to bed at 6: 12:26

30 every night and wakes up at 7 AM. And it's like clockwork. You know, if we start getting close to 7, she's like, I'm toast. Like the minor most minor inconvenience. And she's like, like, kinda meltdown, just, like, put me to bed. But, like, now you know? And she'll, like, wave good night. Like, I need to go to bed kinda thing. Yeah. It's amazing. It's been like that for, well, since she could walk, but even before that, we got it pretty, tight. That's great. Looking into the future, just kind of like how things are at your house, not to like compare or say it's gonna be like what I have in the future, but just in general, like what's the nighttime wake up kind of hours you got going on? No. Yeah, no, that's, that's great. So the, when we were younger and I was still married, I was very fortunate to have a wife who was like very consistent, like had routines because like our kids were in bed like 8 o'clock every night. Like we did it. We'd

usually do like some sort of cartoon around 7: 13:26

30 and then like bedtime story and then kids would be in bed. And there was like a process to it all. Now that I'm single and they're older, it is definitely not like that at my house. And part of it is just the way our parenting plan was. We're changing it for next year. But I had weekends and then one night a week, or every other weekend and one night a week during the school year. Then now we have every other week in the summer. And with them being like middle school age in the summer, like, they're up later than I am during the week. And like for me, it's summer. So I'm like, I'm not going to worry about it too much unless I find out you're staying up like, 1, 2 in the morning,

playing Fortnite every night. But usually, we have the games off, like, 10: 14:03

30, 11, on even on on weekends, I would

say. Like, if they have friends over, usually it's like 10: 14:11

30, 11. Let's turn the games on. If you guys wanna, like, chill out and watch a movie, like, that's fine. But there definitely is a, like before I go to bed, just making sure their teeth are brushed, they've taken showers, they're ready to, like, go to sleep. But then like all usually be asleep before they're in bed at this point. Just, you know, they're at that age where they're staying up a little bit later and it's summer. So I'm not really too worried about them, you know, having, like, a super strict bedtime. But they also have friends Are you watching movies with them? Yeah. Sometimes like, well, like, especially on weekends, we'll have like a movie night or kind of, you know, watch a movie before bed and then, usually like popcorn or something. My youngest son really likes making a movie theater. And so he'll be like, tickets and like, so we kind of like do that game for a little bit, which is always fun. And then like popcorn or we'll try to find some, some, some recipe on TikTok or something to make. That's kind of like a movie snack type of thing, which is fun. But I guess as far as like the nightly routine, it is just like, I think the most important thing is like making sure electronics are off. My youngest, my oldest, actually, there was a moment where, he was always tired and we, like, we took him to the doctor. Like his energy is so low. We can't figure out what's happening. We found out he was getting up and like was watching like shows or

YouTube on his tablet, like, at 4: 15:30

30 in the morning. And we're like, dude, this is why you're tired all the time. Like, you can't play with your tablet until, like, after or whatever. Because he wasn't even in, like, kindergarten, preschool yet. It was, like, 3 or 4 before before that period of his life. And, Yeah. We're like, this is why bro, you're not sleeping. Like you need to be that's why you're tired. But yeah, it's just funny. You find out these little things that like they're just picking up on their own and yeah. They're so funny. I don't think I've shared with this with you before. So when I was 11, my mom passed away, and my parents had split when I was around 3 or 4. I had a brother, who passed away from leukemia. I was 3. He was 7 and caused my parents to split. So I primarily spent time with my mom and I would see my dad every other weekend. Uh-huh. But my dad is like a biker. So to this day, like he rides around, he's riding around actually today. He leaves for a trip. He literally rides around the US on his Harley and goes to Sturgis every year, the whole thing. And as a kid, going over to my dad's, before my mom passed, I was like, it's just like different vibes over there, you know, like different vibes, like way different, you know? And it's like, I just remember like Mike Tyson fight going on, you know, and I'd like, fall asleep. And I didn't know this until a little bit later, but I'd fall asleep. And then he'd like, go watch the fight at like a friend's place. And I'd be like, you know, 8 just chilling out. Yeah. Yeah. That's crazy. Different different times and different, like, you know, not, not blaming him. I love him. But just, just like different, you know, like, and so, but then after our mom passed and then being with him full time, just like the differences, you know, and I was like, woah, this never felt like so much like a dad, like kind of like a friend in some ways. Yeah. And I just and he would

work super early. He'd have to get up at like 3: 17:28

30 or 4. And there were so many times, especially when I was like, just a little bit older than your oldest son, where I would just be like up while he would be leaving for work. Yeah. He'd be like, wake up and he's like, you're awake right now. And

it's like 4, 4: 17:47

30. And I'm like, it's summer, you know, and we got going. Yeah. Who cares? You know? Yeah. I'm just like, you can't do this. I'm like, I did not understand why. Because I had nothing to go to the next day. Yeah. For sure. For sure. Why can't I just stay up? You know? And I was just, like, thinking in my head, I was like, I bet you would stay up if you could. You know? Yeah. Of course. He's gotta go to work. Yeah. That's hilarious. It is. It is interesting, the dynamic. And I think about that too. Cause like, I just want to have fun with my kids. A lot of it. Like, I'm just a dude. Like, I want to do fun stuff. But then sometimes I think about like, am I just like too much of a friend? Like, do I need to like step up to like guidelines and, you know, so I I wanna make sure I'm setting them up for success. And I don't wanna become, like, the Disneyland dad or it's like when we go to dads, we just, like, do fun stuff and know when I have good relationship with them. But I want to make sure there's also balance. Like I'm teaching them lessons and they're they're they are being, you know, they're doing what I can to play a role and then being set up to be successful adults. And so that is kind of a, like a thought process that I'm trying to be more intentional about right now. As like about a year and a half removed from the divorce and I try to like create more like routines and establish a lot of that, you know, in my, in my home when I have them. And so it's been a been an interesting journey for sure. I don't know if I'm the best at it, you know, at all. Like routines are just not my strong suit. I'm definitely a, like, creative person and, like, spontaneous. Like, this podcast is a great example. We talked about it, like, yesterday and, right, let's let's let's record an episode. See what happens. Like, that's how I thought I just approach a lot of things. I feel like this it's a great way to learn. But then also, I know a lot of people are gonna value the the context and structure. I think especially with kids, that's important. So Yeah. Speaking of which, why this podcast? We haven't even really talked about this. And I was like, take a look at this. Talk about it after we hit record, which is not something I don't think you're supposed to do, is talk about why you're starting a podcast after you start the podcast. Yeah. That's just like an ultimate dad thing to do as well. Totally. I thought it would be funny if we both shared you first. Why this podcast, like, why, why did you decide to start this podcast about being dads? Yeah, I think it's good to have a space where people are going to speak genuine and not feel like you're having to present yourself as the alpha or the person that has it all figured out, but just be open to like sharing stories. And we kind of, we briefly talk before we hit record, but I think a lot of times there's lessons in the story that you don't have to necessarily, emphasize. Like the listener can, can kind of pull the lesson from the story themselves. And so providing opportunity for dads to share stories, share their experience, learn from, from others, I think is important, but also highlight people that are doing cool stuff. I'm really passionate about the idea that things that are recognized get repeated. And if we can, you know, find, you know, people that maybe don't have a spotlight on them that have great stories to share. I think it'll be, it'll be a powerful thing. And I'm building a community called Dad and Company that really is focused around connecting dad's own businesses. Because like being a lot of dudes are lonely right now. You know, it's easy if you're a dad, you're a business owner. You feel like your time has to be either growing the business or with your family. And that doesn't always leave a lot of time to develop peer relationships, develop friendships. So I think through the podcast and the community, we can can really impact a lot of lives, which will be will be powerful. That's beautiful. That's beautiful. How about you? I, well, I'm a new dad and I don't know. It's kinda like, I don't know. This it's so unique. Being a dad is so unique to each situation, you know? And it's weird because, like, something about like, I guess you're like always a dad once you have a kid. And it's kind of weird to me because I look at it, and I guess it's a relationship with my dad where I feel like for so much of my life, he's been more of like a friend than a dad. And so in my brain, I almost, like, think, like, at a certain point, you don't become a dad, like, once they get older or something, but that's not true. It's just in my head, it kind of feels that way. And so with this podcast and when you had mentioned it, I was just like, woah, to hear your experience, to share my experience and just kind of like, I've been having other dads reach out and just say how they wanted to do this kind of same idea. And to me, it just seemed like a no brainer to just kind of like talk. I'm like, dude, we could talk for it. It's like easy and easy. Yes. Cause I have it far from like figured out for sure. And I love, I love, I don't know. I love, dads for 1. Like, I love just the topic of it because there's it's different. Like I was saying, it's like so different than it used to be. You know, we have like new challenges than we never had before, Just as like men, even if we're just without being a dad and then throw on top of, you know, setting an example. And I'm starting to learn, you know, right away, like how much is caught, not taught taught with my daughter of like her just wanting to do things I do. Like, I will always like dance and things like that in front of her. And so when it's just her and I, and she just like wants to dance, like, woah, that's crazy. Like she learned that from me having fun and like doing a little art stuff. So just, just like sharing the experience, I think, and the connection, is super important to me because, yeah, I don't have in, like, in real life, I don't have dads that I'm meeting up with. I have dads in real life that I'll meet up with virtually, but I'm in Los Angeles. And, and you're in Salem. Yeah. I was gonna make a joke there, but, it didn't come quick enough in my brain. Quick. Think of a Salem joke. Isn't there another Salem in, like, Maine? Massachusetts. Massachusetts. That's what it was. Yeah. There's probably a few other. That's like the witch trials one where everybody thinks I've had people move to Salem. I remember in high school, people would move like, yes, that witch is here. Really? It's like, I mean, no, we don't. That was, that's a different one. The story is about a different, different Salem, but. Yeah. I love it. So while we're on the topic of, like, what to expect or, like, why we started it, what do you think listeners could expect to hear more of in the future knowing that, hey, we're making this up as we go and we don't have the perfect answer. Also, we wanna make something that people enjoy as well that's Yeah. Including dads in the conversation. So it's not like you know, this is not a lecture. This is not a class that you gotta show up to. This is just an ongoing conversation. What is your best guess at things that we would be doing more of in the future on this podcast? Yeah, I'm excited just to, to explore more like our, our own personal relationships with being a dad and like how we're growing and things we're learning and just hearing stories about, you know, dads interacting with kids. And, but it'll be fun also bringing guests on. Like sometimes it might be an specific industry or on a specific topic. Sometimes it might just, you know, not just, but just be someone from the community that we want to bring on and we learned something cool about them that we wanna wanna highlight. So I'm just excited for for the conversation and for us to find creative ways to include listeners, you know, as part of the conversation and really understand, like, what's most helpful for them, what's most impactful for them, and how do we, you know, you know, deliver that because time is valuable. There's so much content out there that, anytime that I'm putting something out in the world, like I want to be very specific that whatever, however much time somebody's spending on consuming that, that it's worth the return on investment because time is valuable. I think as a parent, we learned that really quickly that, like, time is so important and so valuable. So, yeah. Love that. Love that. Yeah. I love all that. And I'd love to, if I put on my wishlist. Yeah. Just getting like the specifics of, of certain things, like you you sharing, you know, around your boys' bedtime and, like, just kind of little routines and things like that. And I'd love to hear like examples from you and other dads of just like current challenges or even past challenges and how you've dealt with them. Cause there's so much nuance, you know, and I think learning through stories of like real stories of what you've done. Cause I can think of a million situations that I'm like, man, I wonder how you handled this. Or, you know, when you were going, go to parks, you know, with your kids, like, how do you handle if something happens? You know, how do you hit, like, with another kid there? Or how do you just communicate with the other parents at the park? Kinda Yeah. Just these little nuance things. I think there's, like, so much across the board, and I can think of all these situations, even if it's hypotheticals, that would be really fun to explore with you and everybody listening. Yeah. What I like to I'm curious about is the grandparents. Like, how do you, how do you handle that? Cause you're if I remember correctly, like your grandparents aren't in Los Angeles, not all of the valleys, correct? Right. My dad and my stepmom, they live in Arizona. I'm in Los Angeles and they, my yeah. They're not they're my that'll come by once or twice a year. But my mother-in-law helps out, 2 to 3 times a week. So she's over during the day. But for a while she wasn't we, she just recently kind of came through, and started helping. And that was it's been so nice. Yeah. That's great having the family. Like, we're pretty fortunate. Their mom's mom watches them, like, after school and, it has just been there, you know, kind of their entire lives. When we were both working before they were in school, she was watching them. And so we were just very fortunate. And then my dad lives in Salem as well. My mom actually passed away also when I was was 12. She died from brain cancer. I don't know. I didn't, I don't think I knew that we had that in common, but I remember like when I had the kids, I was like, that was, I didn't, I don't really thought about my mom like passing and then her death had kind of processed it. And, but like, I remember in that moment, like, man, I really wish that they could have had a relationship with her. Like it really did like opened up some, some old wounds pretty quick, for sure. But just on the topic of grandparents and then, yeah, so my dad and, my stepmom, they live in Salem as well. So we kind of have the community so close. And I think sometimes I forget that not everybody has that. Like it's pretty rare actually for every, for maybe, maybe it's rare. I don't know. I'll be curious to learn that actually, but it seems like it is. When you told me that before about, your ex wife's mom watching your kids. Woah, that's cool. Like that's a lot over something, you know, for sure. I'm curious too in the future, because I don't have time today, but, like, curious too also, I'm, like, adding that to my wish list of things to talk to you about you having lost your mom at that age and just, like, how that plays, especially not to, like, psychoanalyze you, but partly just psychoanalyze you. Yeah. Yeah. Because I'm psychoanalyzing myself all the time. But Yeah. Your boy your oldest boy being around the age that you were when you lost your mom, like, it just it's interesting, you know? For sure. And, like, you know, I think about death all the time. I've lost so many people. So definitely would love to explore that with you more in the future just because death is an interesting topic, and I think it's a huge part of being a dad. And I don't see any topics really being talked about that on social media about dying and being a dad and legacy and all that stuff, you know? For sure. No, that'll be a great one to run, to dig deep on for sure. Yeah. As we wrap up this first inaugural episode, what is one current challenge you're facing as a parent? It's hard to pick 1, you know, I think it's just, it's just balance. I think it was a constant struggle of like recognition versus accountability. Like building on their strengths versus like helping them, like focus on ways to improve business and spending time with the kids. How do I stay in touch with the kids when, like, they're with mom? Like, what's, what's a good process for that? Accepting that, like never everything's never going to be enough, but like, you can just kind of keep focused on like one step at a time, helping things get better. That's part of the balance as well. So I think there always are these like dichotomies that I'm analyzing and like even in the moment sometimes of like, is this a time to be direct and like really like make sure it's known this is not okay. This more of like a learning moment. This more of a time where I should be asking them questions to understand why they did something. And, I feel like I have these just like algorithms happening in my brain at all times when these moments happen of what's going to get me to this outcome. Because the outcome is I want this, this kid to learn. I want to have a healthy relationship. I want them to, you know, find their path and their passions so they can be successful in life. So like I have these things that I want for them. And then I feel like this the constant challenge is the moments that are gonna have the biggest impact. Like, really trying to be intentional about how I'm I'm approaching these moments. How about for you? What's been your like, one of your biggest challenges? Nice. Yeah. I mean, when I hear you say that, I'm like, one day I feel like I'm gonna get there. And it's funny because like having like problems or not problems really, I guess, challenges, right now, it's like so different in a way because there's developmentally, there's not like as much there's a lot happening, but not as much like waking up and using a tablet. You know? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Not yet. Right? Yeah. Yeah. Not even, like, there yet. So one challenge, like, is just for me, like, when because I'm home and my wife, you know, might be working, on a Saturday or something. So I'll have all day with my daughter, and just getting out of the house more, like I'm not, I'll kind of like stick to kind of comfort areas of like, oh, I know we could do this or that. But I'd really love to just like get out more. And I find it for some reason challenging to, like, figure out what to do. And I live in a place with so much to do. I see, you know, I have like friends that are dads that like really just, just get out there. Like, they're just hiking. They're doing all this crazy stuff. I'm like, I don't wanna do that. Like, it all makes it all so easy. And, you know, she's 18 months and, like, she's not doing like that type of stuff. So, balancing kind of like my own ambition of wanting to do it without, like, beating myself up to you with like, just kind of is what it is right now, but also like wanting to get outside of, my comfort zone with experiencing new things. It's different when it's my wife and I together. It's way easier. Just doing it by yourself though is like a little challenging. I'll just say that. Yeah. Yeah. I thought about that with the, we went to Disneyland recently and the Disney Universal. And it's not a super long flight. It's like a 2 and a half hour flight, but still it's like, alright, the checklist as the sole parent that was going with the kids. So like, do we have all the boxes checked? You know what I mean? And, there are these things like I wanna do with them, but like is are we only gonna do this because I wanna do it? Or is this something that we all wanna do together? And, like, it's gonna be a fun experience. And there's probably a good balance of, like, sometimes making things happen because you like to do them and maybe that's okay. But you had I understand to me, especially when they're younger. Right? It's like there's these limits and they're very real limits. Like, I'm not going to take them to certain places because it's just not practical. It doesn't make sense. And like, they're probably going to be miserable and tired and exhausted if we did this, you know? Yeah. You actually remind me of like a story because you just went to Universal Studios Hollywood, and I'll never forget going there. My dad took me there when, this must have been before my mom passed. And and we go there. We lived in the Antelope Valley, which was like a hour I think it was like a hour 15 from, our house. We go to Universal Studios and we show up. We go to get out of the car, you know, the whole park, the whole thing. And I'm like, oh, I forgot my shoes. And he's like, what? And I was barefoot, like no socks or nothing. And he's like, you forgot your shoes? What? And the parking at Universal Studios Hollywood sucks. It's so far to walk to the Yeah. The gate. You have to walk to the Like a mile to the gate. Yeah. Yeah. And he's like, could not believe that I had forgotten my shoes. Like and I'm just, like, probably 9 or something. I'm like, I don't know. And we had to wait for the stores to open on City Walk, and all they had at that time was, like, these, like, Ralph Lauren, like, slides. And I remember, like, going to, like, ET, like, hoping they didn't fall off, and he was just like, I can't believe you forgot your shoes. I have to buy your shoes here? Like and I'm just, like, could care less because I just it wasn't it was, like, not seen. I didn't feel like it was my problem. I feel like it was his problem. For sure. Yeah. It's Not my money. What do you mean? Yeah. I don't know. You're aren't you, like, a millionaire? You know, he's, like, blue collar worker, just, like, so smart. Yeah, for sure. Every dad's a millionaire. Right? So we went to Universal about a year and a half ago during the holidays. And my oldest son forgot all of his t shirts. I packed for them. At some point he unloaded all of his t shirts and I'm sure was planning on putting it back in the bag, but they just didn't make it. So we had to, like, stop at a store and, like, buy t shirts for him. It was just, like, the exact same situation. Oh my gosh. Yeah. And did he, did he care much? Like what kind of t shirts he got or this? No. Was he like, oh, I'm so sorry. He was like He was pretty like disappointed in himself. He that's the kind of kid he is for sure. He was like, I didn't I'm sorry, dad. I didn't mean to. It's like, you know, it's alright, buddy. We had to stop, like, at a store afterwards and they were already exhausted and tired. And so we we got him a few shirts. But, yeah, it was but it's just funny. Like the kids, they just say forget things. But forgetting your shoes is hilarious. That's especially, that's especially funny. And like nobody noticing. I feel like this thing that like, yeah, it just happens. Dads just overlooked things sometimes. Yeah. Yeah. Like we get focused on that also. Are you that way also? Like when you go places and like, you've been like, how did I forget that at home? To the daughter? Usually, well yeah. Yeah. Actually. Yeah. I'll be like, oh, I'm glad nothing, you know, extra diaper or she actually how I'm saying this now. I did forget her shoes. We went somewhere, like, last weekend or the week before, and I was like, well, I'm not setting you down. I took her to a doctor's appointment, and, you know, I didn't know how long the wait would be. So I'm like, we'll probably just play in the lobby. But when we got there, I was like, oh, you have no shoes on. Oh, there's no shoes in the backpack. Oh, I didn't pack those. So yeah. I guess it came that way. One morning I was taking the kids when I was still married. I was taking the kids to, their grandmas for the day before I was headed to work. And we were just running late and like we're on her. And I was like, come on, we gotta go. We gotta go. And we get in the car. We're driving there. And my youngest, I can't remember how old he was at the time, like 5 or something. He goes, dad, you know I'm not wearing shoes, underwear, or shirt right now. Right? Like, he just had, like, just free balling it and like a pair of basketball shorts. That's just how I dropped them off to her mom's and like, likely she had a good sense of humor about it. But yeah, one of those things. That's hilarious. All right. Any last words for this? No, this is a lot of fun, man. I'm excited for this. Thank you everybody for tuning in. Like the 5 people listen to the first episode of a podcast is always grateful. Always grateful for the so thank you for being here, especially if you stuck around to this point, if you're still here. Like that's awesome. Thank you for that. Yeah. You're a real dad. And, yeah, and, yeah, shout out to all the dads, and you're doing a great job. And if there's something you would love to contribute or or, you know, hear his address on this show, please let us know. Send the I'll include links in the, episode description that you can, reach out to us. And, yeah, we'll see you in the next one. Appreciate you.